Questions Every Newly Engaged Couple Should Ask (But Rarely Do)
There is something truly magical about the moment when someone you love announces their engagement. The joy is palpable, the ring sparkles, and the excitement—whether quiet or exuberant—signals the beginning of an extraordinary journey together.Make it stand out
Whatever it is, the way you tell your story can make all the difference.
However, once the initial celebrations have ended and the champagne glasses have been set aside, reality can quickly set in, leaving many couples asking themselves, "Where on earth do we start?"
Advice pours in from all sides, Pinterest offers hundreds of styles, and even choosing a date can seem like an insurmountable task. To help you navigate these early stages, here are ten questions I wish every couple would ask themselves before making any decisions about venues, dresses, or bookings.
Your wedding day should reflect who you are as a couple. These questions will help you create a celebration filled with meaning, joy, and ease.
Getting Started With Your Wedding Planning
When faced with questions like “When? Why? Where? Who? How?”, it’s perfectly natural to feel a bit overwhelmed at the outset. The prospect of planning a wedding can initially appear daunting, and it’s easy to become consumed by the magnitude of what lies ahead. Organising such a significant event is by no means a simple task—believe me, I understand!
Reflecting on my own journey of planning my wedding, (I realise 20 years ago things were very different) I still vividly recall how the more I pondered the details of my ideal celebration and how I might bring it all to life, the more I became paralysed by indecision. I found myself procrastinating and, at times, feeling rather emotional about the whole process. It certainly wasn’t the joyful experience I had envisioned. Shouldn’t it be enjoyable?
Looking back, I recognise where I went awry: I lacked a clear plan and a defined starting point. The moment I got engaged, I simply tossed every idea into the mix and attempted to tackle everything simultaneously. This approach left me feeling scattered and overwhelmed. I urge you not to repeat my mistake.
Top Tips for Starting Your Wedding Planning Journey
1. Involve Your Fiancé in the Wedding Planning
It is essential to ensure that your fiancé is engaged and participating in the planning process. While it might seem trivial, some partners are content to let the other take charge of the decisions, which can leave you feeling burdened with the responsibility. To avoid this, aim for agreement on all major decisions so that there are no surprises later on.
Set aside time to sit down together and discuss your ideas for the wedding—perhaps over dinner or a couple of drinks. Keep the conversation light and enjoyable, and remember that you don’t have to finalise every detail in one sitting. Make it stand out.
2. Decide on the Time of Year for Your Wedding
The next step is to decide, as a couple, when you would like to get married. Consider whether you are drawn to a winter celebration or if your heart is set on a summer affair, as this choice will influence the month and year of your wedding. Once you have a preferred timeframe in mind, check in with your closest family and friends to ensure the dates work for them as well. Although it is your day, having your special people with you is important and worth considering in your plans.
3. Discuss the Type of Wedding You Want
With a general idea of timing, start considering the style of wedding that appeals to you both. The season may influence your choices, but think about whether you would like a religious or civil ceremony, an outdoor celebration, a marquee reception, a barn wedding, or even a full wedding weekend. There are numerous possibilities, and having an open conversation will help you both clarify what you want, paving the way for a shared vision for your big day.
4. What's Our True Budget (and How Flexible Is It)?
Budgets may seem restrictive, but embracing them early brings freedom. Start with what you can afford, not what you think a wedding should cost. Prioritise your non-negotiables and build your plans from there.
5. Begin Your Research
Once you have considered these key areas, you can start researching in earnest. Explore potential venues, gather colour inspiration, scroll through Instagram, and cut out ideas from magazines to help piece together your ideal wedding. Enjoy this creative process and take pleasure in seeing your vision take shape as you bring your dream wedding to life.
6. What Feeling Do We Want People to Leave With?
Rather than starting with a Pinterest board, begin with a mood. Consider whether you want your wedding to feel relaxed, grand, or joyfully chaotic. Do you imagine guests laughing barefoot on the grass, or raising glasses in an historic hall? Defining the emotional experience you wish to create will help steer every subsequent decision far more effectively than simply choosing colours or themes.
7. What Are Our Non-Negotiables?
Select two or three aspects that matter most to you, such as live music, exceptional food, or a location that holds deep significance. Once you are clear about your must-haves, everything else can be more flexible.
8. Are We Indoor, Outdoor, or Both?
This question is more important than many realise. With the increasing availability of hybrid venues, it is crucial to assess your comfort with weather, seasons, and logistics—especially in the UK. Your preference will influence everything from your wedding date to the guest count.
9. How Much Time Do We Realistically Want to Spend Planning?
Be honest with yourselves. If you enjoy spreadsheets and communicating with suppliers, full planning may suit you. If you prefer to simply arrive and enjoy a beautiful event, investing in an experienced coordinator or planner may be the smartest move for you.
10. How Do We Want to Feel at the End of It All?
While your wedding day is important, so is waking up the next morning feeling joyful, proud, and still deeply in love, eager to begin your marriage. Avoid exhaustion and regret by considering whether your choices will enhance the experience—not just the day itself.
Final Thoughts: Creating a Wedding That Feels Like You
Weddings are evolving, and newly engaged couples today are more empowered than ever to make decisions that reflect their values, style, and dreams—rather than following tradition for its own sake. Getting engaged is a truly special moment in your life and should be celebrated as such. As you embark on your wedding planning journey, remember that it can be just as thrilling as the engagement itself. By staying organised, focusing on what matters most to you as a couple, and surrounding yourself with supportive people, you will not only manage the planning process, but also find real joy in it. With the right approach and a positive mindset, you will create lasting memories and enjoy every step towards your big day.